The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:44 pm

What's worse than having a girlfriend who wipes back to front?

Finding out by going down on her.
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Wed Dec 02, 2015 9:18 pm

I got a political advent calendar.

It's like a normal advent calendar, but there's a dick in number 10.
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Wed Dec 02, 2015 9:21 pm

A teacher asked the children in her third year class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny answered first. "I want to start out as an S.A.S. Officer, go to the Middle East and kill loads of militant Muslims and return as a national hero.

"Then I'd become a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find myself the finest nymphomaniac tart, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher - shocked and not knowing what to do with this unfortunate response from little Johnny - decided not to acknowledge what he had said and simply tried to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I want to be Johnny's tart!"
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:01 pm

Word Heavyweight Champion Boxer Tyson Fury is in trouble for saying women are only good in the kitchen or on their backs.

Not much else to do in a caravan.





Tyson Fury on Radio 2

In relation to his quote that homosexuality, abortion and paedophilia need to be legalised before the world ends.
"That ain't my opinion. I didn't say that. That's what the Bible tells me."

Well Tyson, gypsies are tramps and thieves.

That's not 'my' opinion. 'I' didn't say that.

That's what Cher tells m
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:03 pm

A man has been stabbed to death in a Poundland store.

In order to avoid any embarrassment for his family staff dragged his body into Aldi before calling an ambulance.
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Tue Dec 15, 2015 9:26 pm

I was pulling my boxers off in bed last night when the wife said to me...
"You spoil those dogs."
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:35 pm

my favorite thing to do at the library is to leave browser tabs open on the public computer, with search results for "best way to clean semen off a keyboard?"
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Thu Jan 07, 2016 8:50 pm

The woman opposite called me a pervert earlier. I don't know why. Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:50 pm

As my spunk dribbled down the wife's chin, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Do you like that?"

"No," she replied, "What the fuck is in this sandwich?"
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:57 pm

Jeremy Corbyn has pledged never to use Britain's nuclear deterrent if he became Prime Minister.

If he's going to start that kind of talk, I pledge not to come in Rachel Riley's mouth on our Diamond wedding anniversary.
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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

Postby Kamikaze » Fri Jun 10, 2016 7:04 pm

as sickipedia has gone tits up, have a pic of wonder woman at her finest.

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