Exercise Regime

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Exercise Regime

Postby okerre » Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:07 am

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be
bad for you?



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
it's the best feel-good food around!



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
okerre
 
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Postby thedeadly » Wed Sep 29, 2004 11:51 am

Love it !
Never buy a stupid dwarf - Its not big and its not clever
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Postby slopsurfer » Wed Sep 29, 2004 12:45 pm

okerre,

do you fancy being my personal trainer :D
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Postby okerre » Wed Sep 29, 2004 12:54 pm

Its a heavy workout of Pizza and chips this evening. and I am suffering from an acute deficiency of the Whisky Vitamin, which I shall be rectifying this evening.
okerre
 
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Postby jamblo » Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:00 pm

so all this running, gym work and football has been a complete waste of energy and will make me die sooner?!

:shock:
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Postby okerre » Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:22 pm

The best exercise u can do is Kelly Slater Pro Surfer on the X box. Keeps u in fine form. Actually moving or exerting yourself if just bringing u closer to the inevitable
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