water confidence help...

[midnightwolf]

me and my boyfriend have surfed together quite a bit over the past 2-3 years, but he hasn't got out back much. Hes only recently developed his swimming skills, and is lacking in water confidence in deep water. we've done a lot of treading water and jumping in the deep end of the pool, and hes got a lot better. we were thinking of heading out Wednesday with the boards when its flat to get him used to deeper water and do some swimming. Does anyone have any advice or exercises we should do while out We are planning a trip to Devon, Cornwall and Swansea in march so would like to help him become more confident, as i think hes getting a bit down over it.
Thanks.
Sarah

[wjp1]

Just get in the water as much as possible. The more he does it the more he will get confident. Try and get in the water at beaches as much as possible - not just pools, as he needs to get used to being pounded by waves.

[henryg]

Just tell him to harden the fuck up or you'll leave him for a real man. That should sort it out. Next.

[wigsy]

Just keep reminding him that he's got an 8 foot* float attached to his leg...


*or however long.

[ATTMFKH]

Just tell him to harden the fuck up or you'll leave him for a real man. That should sort it out. Next.

What you need is to get him to wear his pyjamas and dive for a black rubber brick in the deep end of your local pool

Seriously though , ditch the fucker , he's slowing you down

[Veos]

me and my boyfriend have surfed together quite a bit over the past 2-3 years, but he hasn't got out back much. Hes only recently developed his swimming skills, and is lacking in water confidence in deep water. we've done a lot of treading water and jumping in the deep end of the pool, and hes got a lot better. we were thinking of heading out Wednesday with the boards when its flat to get him used to deeper water and do some swimming. Does anyone have any advice or exercises we should do while out We are planning a trip to Devon, Cornwall and Swansea in march so would like to help him become more confident, as i think hes getting a bit down over it.
Thanks.
Sarah

I'd say well done on him to learn swimming, I know alot of people after they reach a certain age that cant swim dont ever learn.
How to get him more comfortable with the water?
I'd sugest what others have, go out into water as much as possible. Be it the sea with your board or a local pool, whats important is that you have fun with it.
Play your typical swim to the bottom of the pool to get somthing game and if you are kinda cheaky when your out in the sea with your boards having a paddle, tip him off his. Yeah he may be shocked at that, but he wont allways know when he will come off his board when surfing.

But serriously sugest more swim about time with board and or in pool, its all about making him comfy in water.

[Leven]

Agreed....ditch the boy, and move on. Or, leave him wallowing in the whitewash, while you rip out the back. He can hold your towel, and basically be your bitch....

[gavtheoldskater]

give him your thermos and a towel and tell him to sit on the beach and wait for you.

seriously though, if he's not confident in water and has only just learnt to swim should he really be heading out in surf?

[Paul C]

Some people are more confident than others in the water. Just let him build up a bit at a time even if it seems he is not getting anywhere and always be on a beach where there are lifeguards as that may make him feel safer and if there are surf schools there I don't think the instructors would ignore a non-client in difficulty. I had one rescue me once when I panicked in a rip current.
If your boyfriend is interested in surfing and enjoys it stand by him and give him encouragement.
Surfing for most people is a non-competitive activity. Someone told me once when I first started that the best surfer on the beach is the one who has enjoyed himself/herself the most.
It can be fun for some people lacking confidence just to ride the whitewater on a beach where you walk out a long way to get shoulder deep and jump on the board. You still get a long ride in but jump off before running aground as the fins can snap off.
It might be a good idea to go just out of depth just a little bit at a time and catch a wave in when the waves are not too big and powerful and not much rip current and gradually build up by going out further as he gets more confident, I know that is what I did.
I hope he gets more confident, they say 'Practice makes perfect' so encourage him all you can Sarah without pushing him too hard.

[Chris F]

I'd say one of the best things you could do is get out in the sea without surfbords some days when the waves are crap, and just spend time swimming in open water (doesn't even need to be out of his depth) duck diving under small waves, swimming underwater a bit, treading water etc. Any time spent in the water is good time.

[Poo Stance]

Sounds like a wuss to me. He needs to make an objective assessment of the risks posed by surfing.

These are:

1) Not being able to swim to land without buoyancy of surfboard - negated by the buoyancy of a wetsuit and not surfing alone.
2) Drowning from lack of breath - most wipeouts don't last longer than 7 seconds and almost everyone can hold their breath for that long.
3) Drowning from impact to noggin - be aware of water users around you and make them aware of you. Cover your head in a wipeout.
4) Drowning by panic attack - stay calm and concentrate on slow breaths. Avoid situations where panic can be induced. Ie. Don't surf big waves and learn to identify and avoid rips/currents until you can use them to your benefit.
5) Hypothermia - wear wetsuit attire appropriate to water temperatures.

Can't really think of any other pertinent risks other than those associated with addiction.

Fear is a construct of the perception of control. In any situation the level of fear/apprehension/anxiety/adrenaline experienced is proportionate to an individuals response to the balance of variables which are in or out of their control. By it's nature the Ocean is a difficult to quantify variable, especially so for those less used to experiencing it's fluctuating characteristics.
He needs to stay in the whitewater until he is able to consistently master the basics of catching and riding waves and learns more about the mechanics of the Ocean. This will give him the perception of control over some of the variables associated with surfing and hopefully the confidence to go on and confront and gain some measure of control over other fear inducing variables associated with surfing; such as, bigger waves, in deeper water, and in crowded/solitary locations, with currents (which are an ever present at all locations with breaking waves).

Personally I'd ditch him, if only as a surf buddy. Especially if he's insistent on surfing together when it's clear that you both are at different levels and require different waves. It's just hindering your development, and if he truly loved you he'd realise this and go splash around on the inside until he's good enough to surf with you.

[midnightwolf]

some of you offered really good suggestions. id just like to add that he is actually a better surfer than me, and i dont think all of you read the fact we have been surfing together for quite some time... its not something he does just because i do. we have just progressed to the stage where we need to be going further out to be able to advance our surfing, and being out of his depth in the sea is something hes not used to or feels confident about yet. we went out the other day just to be in the water (the sea was flat) and just did some swimming with and without boards and hes doing really well. just we needed other peoples suggestions too as i had quite run out of tips.

[ATTMFKH]

in the UK, unless you are ultra hardcore, you will be wearing a wetty , which makes you buoyant , therfore you will not sink unless you swallow copious amounts of water, even then you'd probably still be a floater .......... so he ain't gonna sink !

I would teach him how to body surf , so that if he lost his board / the plot or whatever, he knows how to get himself inside sharpish and back to terra firma without an epic swim.

Did he buy you a Valentine's card ?

[midnightwolf]

no, but we're buying each other new boards instead

[Mt_Sthcoast]

Just tell him to harden the fuck up or you'll leave him for a real man. That should sort it out. Next.

What you need is to get him to wear his pyjamas and dive for a black rubber brick in the deep end of your local pool

Seriously though , ditch the fucker , he's slowing you down

Hahahaha. Quality feedback - the reason I keep co
Ing back to check this forum. So - to summarise: MTFU? Bless.

[flacky]

Just tell him to harden the fuck up or you'll leave him for a real man. That should sort it out. Next.

What you need is to get him to wear his pyjamas and dive for a black rubber brick in the deep end of your local pool

Seriously though , ditch the fucker , he's slowing you down

Hahahaha. Quality feedback - the reason I keep co
Ing back to check this forum. So - to summarise: MTFU? Bless.

Agreed... The world needs the truth occasionally... Ditch the fucker, priceless....... That's tickled me.

[Leven]

some of you offered really good suggestions. id just like to add that he is actually a better surfer than me, and i dont think all of you read the fact we have been surfing together for quite some time... its not something he does just because i do. we have just progressed to the stage where we need to be going further out to be able to advance our surfing, and being out of his depth in the sea is something hes not used to or feels confident about yet. we went out the other day just to be in the water (the sea was flat) and just did some swimming with and without boards and hes doing really well. just we needed other peoples suggestions too as i had quite run out of tips.

If he doesn't like/is afraid of/not confident in the water, why the hell does he want to surf?! In my experience most people surf because of a natural love of the ocean, not a natural fear!