Magicseaweed Forum awards of the Decade.

[goose_1989]

Same as last years (see sticky).

But now including the last 8 years of MSW forum since it started in 2002 wasnt it?





Most repeated and boring topic of all time

'what wetsuit should i buy'

Someone asks what wetsuit to buy; Leading into 5 posts on wetsuits the majority of which stating xcel are the best, then 1 posts about how snugg are also good even though they weigh as much as the sun, then pages of abuse between deadly and whoever slags off snugg.

EG:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=19642


see also: indo visas threads, which board to come down from a minimal to threads, VW van threads, Olo Board threads, Bodyboarding vs longboard vs shortboard vs goatboat abuse threads, Anti football threads.

Great work on MSWs behalf to start up that 'learn to surf section'. Now its nowhere near as bad as it used to be








Unlikely Legend Poster

Test Pilots Bodyboarding.

Although this poster obviously surfs an inferior craft he's quietly built up a hugely impressive portfolio of pics and sarcastic comments. Leaving this lower body disabled forumer the hero of the surfing underclass









Biggest Photo Slut


North Devon Lad

Despite having 2 first names (and therefore being untrustworthy) and having the huge set back of surfing the slowest wave in the known world, this forumer has somehow managed to build up the largest portfolio of cheater 5 photos in the known world. Who takes these photos, well we're not sure, but the smart money is on his long time time lover JL.










Most ridiculous board opinion turn around

Jimo69.


This aggressive, xcel repping wembury warrior was for a long time know for his anti everything that wasn't an australian made 6'1 thruster:

if you ever come to my local beach with that quad piece of shit, i will pull such a radical no grab 360 in your face that the spray will tear your skin off you hippy, retro riding wanker

But now he seems to have turned shaper and Rasta groupie:

riding other stuff wont impede your surfing on a thruster unless you never ride a thruster for ages,

thats me fucked then i haven't surfed my 6'1 for over a year now , now if you'll excuse me im off to meditate whilst drinking lemongrass shots whilst masturbating to singlefin yellow... ps SAVE THE WHALE

Best Beard

Underdog, by miles.



Apparantly he bought that board from his nephew dell boy







Longest running enemies

Roy Stuart and The deadly.

At one point back in the day it got so bad that deadly left the forum (for about an hour) in protest to Roy:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2688&hilit=goodbye&start=0





The roy deadly argument got so bad that roy offered deadly a FREE board, but deadly refused so he could continue flaming away!!!

A week ago deadly and roy seemed like friends again, but obviously that would never last and now its a royal rumble between ben skinner loving deadly, and self loving roy.

[goose_1989]

Best Goodbye thread/post


Well lets be honest, this has to be the most hotly contested award...

Lets have a look at the nominees:


That thread is seminal because it made attention whoring goodbye threads/posts all the rage:

Swordie leaves forever:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=4405&start=0



Steph leaves forever:

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=12846&p=212097&hilit=straw#p212097

personal favourite this one. henry says he got a 2/1 and he's stoked, next post steph bigs up her 1st and distinction, then one little sarcy comment leads to this:

No, Goose its a statement of fact from the mattee-boy school of posting.

However, can you hear that noise?

Yep its the sound of the final straw breaking. Goose, I really hope you enjoy being in Oz and get on there but I'm afraid that your persistent having a go everytime I post anything at all is really rather tedious, so congratulations to you, I hope it makes you feel like a big man you have your wish. I'm not going to bother anymore, well done, your bullying has suceeded.

I shall pop in for a look now and again to check the forecast but as in many other cases I'm off to do far more interesting things.

Deadly leaves forever:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2688&hilit=goodbye&start=0




Deadly leaves forever take 2:

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4555&hilit=+freddie+goose




Matteeboy leaves forever (also hilarious thread by its own merit when matteeboy got into the sunday times and advertised it to the forum, leading to him getting ripped apart by everyone. Then he left, then he returned as banshee and was identified in 2 posts):

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=5634

But matteeboy cant win because to be fair he has now left, being the only one to ever make good on threats to leave forever.

Who's Mattyboy?

I'm not him, just someone who's been looking at this site for a while and has spotted a few turds on here, one of which is Hoff.

Tell you what, I'll stick my passport on here shall I and show off my stamps shall I?

No I won't because I'm not a cunt.

Now Mr Beast, time to go and nosh Hoff off again.

That's gotta be the most convincing disguise ever, are you an actor?

Well done Matteeboy, you've just overtaken Jellybean in the runnings for biggest cunt to ever grace the internet.

Matteeboy leaving forever take 2:

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=5206&p=86447&hilit=goodbye#p86447



going to have to leave this one up to popular opinion.

any other suggestions/links?

[thedeadly]

saddest poster - goose for having a thread, posting a topic then answering it himself

[Back to Top]

Thing is I have been sat here reading through this and in hindsight it is truly bloody hilarious!

There has got to be a film in there somewhere, Liam Nielson as Roy, Vinnie Jones as Deadly, Ian Hislop as Mattieboy!!!!!!!

[goose_1989]

Best Surfing Photo taken by forumer




Mealy
by miles, obviously.

















see also:



Danny1, so many pics to choose from here. one of my personal favourites:







Goose_1989s mate

[johnjohn]

I'm glad someone cares about this stuff . Makes me feel marginally less sad - and probably a lot less sad than I should feel - for still getting most of these references.

Obviously there has to be a "Best collection of short stories which have an improving moral at their heart, that moral being avoid Militia if you value your carpets" award, though I'm not sure who it should go to.

And a "man on a descending spiral into the heart of darkness" award for which I'd nominate Snowfun/Snihosa da costa, who started off posting about kids, sofas, cars wives, but who went on a very long and strange jouney. Without leaving Reading, to be last heard of foaming at the mouth over WTC, global warming and a nasty gash.



(So are you an east coaster these days Mr Goose?)

[goose_1989]

JohnJohn, have to take my wetsuit up for next term. am up for giving the east coast a go but havnt really met anyone who surfs (except for complete beginners) in the york area...


I'm up there with the saddest poster, but to be fair i've been watching the cricket all day so i have to find something to do imbetween the overs...

I'd personally say this guy just pips me at the post for saddest poster ever:






Fail.

[goose_1989]

Best popular culture reference


from the last man standing thread when deadly and matteeboy argued about who was fitter/better built/more likely to win last man standing (worth a reread for sure):

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=14212&hilit=in+shape&start=30

I auditioned for this, but they said 'sorry, no professionals'. I said 'I wasn't', and they replied, 'well you should be'. I said 'nah, I make a shit-load of money doing IT.....'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geZoES9KQ-Q

[danny1]

hahah yee haa! i will get my thinking cap on.

people post your search terms in here and highlight any good threads!

[Chris F]

Most depraved poster must go to Militia, never fails to amuse.

[Black]

Erm I left once too and sneaked back in again without comment, ahhhh the advantages of being dull.

I'm finding Roys beard http://magicseaweed.com/community/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=20709 highly amusing and worth some kind of award as the contributions are also very in character.

[munkee]

Most use of the words 'bottler' and 'liar' goes toooo......

[new_tangled]

Best Skit to Tootes for "MSW Management Meeting caught on video!!"

http://magicseaweed.com/community/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=18666&start=0&hilit=tootes+funny#p278712



I found this by searching for "+Tootes +funny"

[mal-nourished]

what about the most appropriate use of the words liar bottler..

[Underdog]

I found this by searching for "+Tootes +funny"

Tried the same search and came up with this.............http://www.tootsfunnyfarm.com/
Bit worried about the strap line ........... Is it run by Vanessa George

[southcoaster]

LOL!!!!

This is gold!

I almost feel like I'm wasting precious space on this thread by posting this. Keep up the good work!

[goose_1989]

Best Skit to Tootes for "MSW Management Meeting caught on video!!"

http://magicseaweed.com/community/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=18666&start=0&hilit=tootes+funny#p278712



I found this by searching for "+Tootes +funny"

Thats the best thing ever posted on the forum. Tootes wins, in every way possible

[goose_1989]

Best abuse thread

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=17887&hilit=old+school+msw+banter

deadly/schizo complains that his employer sky is sending him kayaking, which leads to everyone abusing him and him reporting jonr for the 700th time. classi:

well, there's you reported again

grow some balls ffs

fuck you once and for all you little tosser jimo, if someone said what cuntface is posting to my face i wouldn't even waste time discussing it, he would be dragged out of the pub, you're a fucking moderator now so fucking sort this little abusive cunt out or MSW will get a letter from my free through my union solicitor and the forum will probably get shut down thanls to JON, why are you protecting the little cunt, doe she suck your dick or something - no more insults about my mother OK MODERATOR
so you fucking grow some balls and sort it out

Especially as deadly was so massively AGAINST moderation, read that shit. classic.

Then deadly says he's going to his solicitor and hes going to SHUT DOWN THE FORUM.



Then after jimo69 ignoring all pleas for help. Deadly leaves forum forever (take 400?):

you really have hit rock bottom in this forum havn't you, how can you let jon do what he's doing and then have a go at me - you're fucking twisted

well i can see how you all feel, so see ya about people

[goose_1989]

Best 'i'm going to beat you up in real life because you made fun of me on the internet' thread

Talking of insecurity, the merry band of South Coast boys seem to be specialists.

1) Surround yourself with sycophantic mates.

2)Get someone to take a photo of every wave you surf on in case onelooks good them post them everywhere.

3)Take a pop at ANYONE who isn't in your little surf gang but appears to be a competent surfer.

4)Slag off any beach you don't surf often.

5)Pretend you know everyone in the surf industry.

6)Slag off anyone who hasn't have every wave they've ever had photographed and who actually prefers JUST TO SURF.

7)Pretend your some hardnut local.

Regret it all one day when I kick the living shit out of you.

From back in 2006. thread about wetsuit gloves leads to deadly threatening to beat up everybody, matteeboy threatening to beat up everyone from south devon and JLC (remember him) being typically dull.

[thedeadly]

why are you answering your own posts constantly, seems a bit weird and sad and as for making it a sticky, thats really sad too - give people a chance to join in Goose - i'm guessing you're on school holiday and you still don't have a girfriend !!

[DrJive]

What's wrong deadly, cringe time at the obvious fact you have been a pathetic cunt for years?

THIS is one of the funniest threads of the decade

[goose_1989]

why are you answering your own posts constantly, seems a bit weird and sad and as for making it a sticky, thats really sad too - give people a chance to join in Goose - i'm guessing you're on school holiday and you still don't have a girfriend !! :lol:

people in glass houses mr single 48 year old...

Hmm, a single man in his forties, asking a surf forum whether or not he should shag a fit young lady, posting gay related threads; what's wrong with this picture?

ha ha

i'm meeting up with her tonight - yeeee haaaaa

tell her you have 12000 posts on an internet surfing forum

i think i'm gonna give up with this 18 yr old chick thing

fail

How can I prove it?????

there's only one way to prove it beyond doubt - come to cornwall and meet up with me, chewy and malpractice, did i already ask you if you were single?

Fail 2.
Deadly don't set me off, the crickets going to be on ALL DAY

ps. i didnt make the thread a sticky.

[mountain man]

It seems Deadly has fairly regularly threatened legal action against MSW, has he ever actually tried to carry it out? I'm absolutely sure no sane solicitor would touch "the case" with a barge pole but has he ever sent an official letter etc or is it just the usual hot air drivel?

[danny1]

Funniest poster of the decade

This will have some discussion i think.

make you nominations! if you put the author into advanced search you get all their posts.

My nomination would by mattylmop. a bit old schooll but very funny one liners.

search.php?keywords=&terms=all&author=Mattylmnop&sc=1&sf=all&sr=posts&sk=t&sd=d&st=0&ch=300&t=0&submit=Search

[goose_1989]

Matteeboy vs Deadly are def in the running for funniest poster of the decade. In a completely unintended fashion:

Matteeboy:

'I am (30 and 6 months) and probably fitter than ever (passed Royal Marines Potential Officers course when younger, done surf lifesaving Ironmans, teach kickboxing, surfed competitively, etc, etc).'

'I must say that a 12 mile daily commute (90% off road) added to years of gyming, makes for a splendid six pack'

'I can fix just about anything, am pretty fit (very fit in some disciplines),'

'New guy weighing in at a tad under 12 stone and 5'8" with 9%bf (I do a lot of gyming, surfing and martial arts).'

'Well I've been IAM and Police trained and driven a huge amount of cars from Morris Marina to F355'

And here he is getting out of his cage about something trivial..

'Don't be a patronising muppet - Which you regularly prove yourself to be'

[thedeadly]

why are you answering your own posts constantly, seems a bit weird and sad and as for making it a sticky, thats really sad too - give people a chance to join in Goose - i'm guessing you're on school holiday and you still don't have a girfriend !! :lol:

people in glass houses mr single 48 year old...

LOL, you make me laugh you tubby twat, i have a horny bitch of a girlfriend at the moment cheers, whereas you havn't denied being single, loner and going to mummy and daddys for christmas and i'm not 48 yet LOLOL

one thing that make me laugh a fair bit is the age insults, they're just proof you have nothing left, and also a bit strange as everyone who is young is going to get older anyway, none of you are age proof, on a more serious note Goose, any insults directed at a person for something they cannot change eg skin colour, gender or age is all the same, week and prejudice !!

[stephh]

Your interpretation of the word "forever" needs some adjustment Goose. Maye be now you are a student you'll appreciate the work that went into my academic life

shall pop in for a look now and again to check the forecast but as in many other cases I'm off to do far more interesting things

However given the time of year I'll forgive you given the amusment of some of the forgotten threads.............

Surely there is a Faffanator thread that merits some kind of award?

[johnjohn]

have to take my wetsuit up for next term

Whilst the absolute last thing I want is any more people in the water you do realise that pic you posted of danny's is about a 45 minute drive from you...? (I might edit this in a bit.)

I would search out some classic jlc but I don't want to post quotes from work in case I set off a big red knob alert and the smut police come crashing in through the windows. Might try later. Rockhard's doing pretty well. Though he should post a bit more about costa rican car hire as I've forgotten the name of that firm.

[sidneysnake]

Funniest post thread has to go to Militia for the "Dog and condoms" thread. Had me in tears.

[goose_1989]

Deadly the thing is i don't care what you think about me or my life because i'm not insecure. Therefore i won't be posting details of relationships or important people in my life because i don't need to validate myself to you. Whereas you seem to be insecure, im sure your misses (inflatable) will love being called a horny bitch.

As for being prejudice (for the record im abusing you for being a complete idiot, not for being old, although you obviously are ancient), lets not forget the 'racism in surfing' thread (2006), that outed you at the very least deeply ignorant and at worst a flaming racist:

thats true - black people have denser muscle so don't float very well , but that makes them better athletes - i dont want to look racist saying this - its just a theory - most black people i know don't like water - i think this has to do with ancestral instinct and originating from africa where rivers are full of nasties that will eat you or squash you and the sea on all coasts round africa are shark infested - if you read the book about the capture of some irish rangers by the west side boys in sierra leone , none of their captors would go in the river without a boat, fear all over etc - last night i went to see my ex at her student digs in plymouth and she ahs a couple of south london black girls sharing the flat, one of them was well nice but as sson as i mentioned surfing and the sea it was all fear and sharks from her, bless

i think this has to do with ancestral instinct and originating from africa where rivers are full of nasties that will eat you or squash you and the sea on all coasts round africa are shark infested

I promise you, that's a crock of shit. We've been here before. Speaking as both a person of so-called mixed race and an anthropologist I also find it mildly offensive


As regards surfing, the Caribbean has already been mentioned. South Africa is a good example of a surfing population which is rapidly changing from being almost exclusively white to having a growing population of non-whites who were previously politically excluded from the sport (literally, they werent allowed on the beaches). More and more black and so-called coloured kids in the lineup out in Cape town, and I promise you they surf better than you deadly

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=6425&hilit=racist


I can post many more examples of you being a twat if you want...