Page 45 of 51

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 9:13 pm
by Kamikaze
My girlfriend's dad showed me a picture of her in the bath when she was a baby.

I showed him one of her sucking my cock.

He doesn't want to play Top Trumps with me again.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:31 pm
by Kamikaze
John Lewis need to do an advert with a man looking out of the window longing to get away from his family and be at the pub.

That would be more Christmassy.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:42 pm
by Prince William
Kamikaze wrote:My girlfriend's dad showed me a picture of her in the bath when she was a baby.

I showed him one of her sucking my cock.

He doesn't want to play Top Trumps with me again.



"I showed him one of her sucking my cock."

Wow, that's rather vulgar isn't it? Using profanity to gather attention is the realm of the small-minded and small-penised. (Quite so. Quite so)

There's some weird double standards on this site.

I was at the pub the other night, after doing some cricket, and their was an extremely soused, large-breasted, foul-mouthed lass making a spectacle of herself. The Pet Shop Boys " West End Girls" was playing on the jukebox and much to my grandmother's shame, I grew an erection. I am not prone to acts of public affection, as that is more of my brother's area of expertise, but I went with and showed my erection. It was a nice erection. Not John Holmes, but nice.

Kathy and Lynn and all of the FaceWeed people are a bunch of kooks. I just wanted to let that be know. Led Zeppelin is the best band ever. The South WIll Rise Again.

:lol: :evil: :twisted: :shock:

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:52 am
by ATTMFKH
^^ 'And the Winner of the Random Post of 2013 is ..................................' :roll:

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:42 am
by Philshoz
Prince William wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:My girlfriend's dad showed me a picture of her in the bath when she was a baby.

I showed him one of her sucking my cock.

He doesn't want to play Top Trumps with me again.



"I showed him one of her sucking my cock."

Wow, that's rather vulgar isn't it? Using profanity to gather attention is the realm of the small-minded and small-penised. (Quite so. Quite so)

There's some weird double standards on this site.

I was at the pub the other night, after doing some cricketer, and their was an extremely soused, large-breasted, foul-mouthed lass making a spectacle of herself. The Pet Shop Boys " West End Girls" was playing on the jukebox and much to my grandmother's shame, I grew an erection. I am not prone to acts of public affection, as that is more of my brother's area of expertise, but I went with and showed my erection. It was a nice erection. Not John Holmes, but nice.

Kathy and Lynn and all of the FaceWeed people are a bunch of kooks. I just wanted to let that be know. Led Zeppelin is the best band ever. The South WIll Rise Again.

:lol: :evil: :twisted: :shock:



I have nothing to say…... :?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 2:35 pm
by Chris F
ATTMFKH wrote:^^ 'And the Winner of the Random Post of 2013 is ..................................' :roll:


Trolling seppo no 223. Or (ex) regular user posting under an assumed name as it is "hilarious".

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 3:46 pm
by Philshoz
Chris F wrote:
ATTMFKH wrote:^^ 'And the Winner of the Random Post of 2013 is ..................................' :roll:


Trolling seppo no 223. Or (ex) regular user posting under an assumed name as it is "hilarious".


South Jetty Bill alert….?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:54 pm
by Kamikaze
Prince William wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:My girlfriend's dad showed me a picture of her in the bath when she was a baby.

I showed him one of her sucking my cock.

He doesn't want to play Top Trumps with me again.



"I showed him one of her sucking my cock."

Wow, that's rather vulgar isn't it? Using profanity to gather attention is the realm of the small-minded and small-penised. (Quite so. Quite so)

There's some weird double standards on this site.

I was at the pub the other night, after doing some cricket, and their was an extremely soused, large-breasted, foul-mouthed lass making a spectacle of herself. The Pet Shop Boys " West End Girls" was playing on the jukebox and much to my grandmother's shame, I grew an erection. I am not prone to acts of public affection, as that is more of my brother's area of expertise, but I went with and showed my erection. It was a nice erection. Not John Holmes, but nice.

Kathy and Lynn and all of the FaceWeed people are a bunch of kooks. I just wanted to let that be know. Led Zeppelin is the best band ever. The South WIll Rise Again.

:lol: :evil: :twisted: :shock:



Can't be the real prince William. It would have looked more Like this if it was:-

Prince William wrote:One was at the pub the other night, after doing some cricket, and their was an extremely soused, Zara Phillips making a spectacle of herself. The Pet Shop Boys " West End Girls" was playing on the jukebox and much to ones grandmother's shame, one grew an erection. One is not prone to acts of public affection, as that is more of my brother's area of expertise, but one went with and showed ones erection. It was a nice erection. Not John Holmes, but nice.


I'd also like to think that the prince would know the difference between 'their' and 'there' bearing in mind how much of my tax money has been spent on the inbreds education.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:36 pm
by Prince William
Ouch, I did use the wrong "Their" and "There" didn't I.........Quite so....quite so. Good catch Japanese-Label guy. You are offered a box of CRACKERJACKS if you supply me with the pertinent information(address and such....)

I just had a kid, and I HATE IT. And I gots lots o' nannies to take care of the thing, but it friggin' cramps my style. Ya dig, Ponyboy? I was forced to procreate for the betterment of the Crown.It sucks.......Quite so....Quite so......

Yo, this place is a little non-active, huh? Dull, almost........Jeez, I'm looking for some action. And where's all the females at? And now, my lady won't let me touch her vajayjay..........I'm consantly in the john touching it. And I AM A PRINCE, for God's sakes......... All she cares aboot is getting herself fit for photos.

"Seppo," this is a British site, correct? I will not stand any tomfoolerely aboot Australia and there or their crassless slang.

OMG, going nuts over here...........I need some help. Somebody please help me.........

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:39 pm
by Kamikaze
Anyway back to what this thread is supposed to be for. Brace yourselves:-


I've never seen child porn but I presume it's quite cute..

A kid dressed as a plumber with a fake moustache would make me go, "Awww".

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:40 pm
by Kamikaze
What if all these celebrities in the yew tree investigation are innocent, and it was mike yarwood all the time

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:47 pm
by Kamikaze
Young people nowadays moan about having to work long hours for a pittance, but they don't know the half of it.

When I worked on the railways in the early 1940s, I put in 18 hours every day and got paid nothing. And I never complained once.

If I had, the Japs would have shot me.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:23 pm
by Kamikaze
Researchers have created a contraceptive pill that "deactivates" sperm before it reached the womb.

My girlfriend's got something similar called "Stomach acid".

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:50 pm
by Prince William
That's Kamikaze, ladies and gentlemen. He'll be here all week.............

I find it fascinating that you are doing a stand-up act on this site, and no one is paying attention. You're aboot as funny as my father. Golly Jeepers, first, it's word games and now a funny ha ha joke thread.

Wow, it's the British Dane Cook.

Anyone who uses the term, "Troll," shouldn't be surfing.

Why is everyone on this site so intimidated by Americans? Obviously we surf far better than youse guys, and we're better looking and more successful. But why are you guys so insecure? Do you guys still harbor resentment aboot The War of 1812, which y'all should have won? I don't know. I mean all of your "stars" move here and stay here. Just look at Gordon Ramsey and John Lennon..........

Really, you say that we're dumb.........have no sense of humor(HUMOUR, there ya go) and such nonsense. I can direct you to American surf predictin' website forums that have a much more sophisticated level of intelligence and humor(HUMOUR, there ya go). Really, I've seen it. I've done the research. This Kamikaze guy was one of the more Rhodes Scholarly types.............

And now he's doing a joke monologue on a surf predicting website forum page............

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 7:35 am
by Kamikaze
Image

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:39 pm
by roberdy
Prince William wrote:That's Kamikaze, ladies and gentlemen. He'll be here all week.............

I find it fascinating that you are doing a stand-up act on this site, and no one is paying attention. You're aboot as funny as my father. Golly Jeepers, first, it's word games and now a funny ha ha joke thread.

And now he's doing a joke monologue on a surf predicting website forum page............


Interestingly, Mr William apparently comes from the same group of IP addresses that South Jetty Bill came from... Is that interesting or merely evidence? Anyhoo, do I allow this troll to become a full member for the sheer shits and giggles or do I block them now in the name of preservation of sanity?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:17 am
by Philshoz
roberdy wrote:
Prince William wrote:That's Kamikaze, ladies and gentlemen. He'll be here all week.............

I find it fascinating that you are doing a stand-up act on this site, and no one is paying attention. You're aboot as funny as my father. Golly Jeepers, first, it's word games and now a funny ha ha joke thread.

And now he's doing a joke monologue on a surf predicting website forum page............


Interestingly, Mr William apparently comes from the same group of IP addresses that South Jetty Bill came from... Is that interesting or merely evidence? Anyhoo, do I allow this troll to become a full member for the sheer shits and giggles or do I block them now in the name of preservation of sanity?


Didn't I say South Jetty Bill?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:13 am
by Chris F
Prince William wrote:Why is everyone on this site so intimidated by Americans?


Not intimidated, disappointed. Without fail every one that turns up on here turns out to be some saddo with an axed to grind. No exception here.

Feel free to PM me with a torrent of abuse btw, seems par for the course.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:53 am
by Leven
Why not set up a specific thread in Caught Inside? "The American Twat" thread or something similar....

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:25 pm
by Kamikaze
Whatever happend to Rockhard?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:31 pm
by defever
YESSSSS... at last! a troll! The best kind of troll that is YANK!

It's been slightly stale for my liking so I welcome his trolling for some entertainment and winding some people up in here.

And regarding this English vs American imitimidation you talk of, Prince William (why Prince William as your forum name, you secretively want to be English because you are ashamed of your nationality, aren’t you?), I have a great example of how some Americans can be intellectually primitive…

Image

Oh how I miss him...

Go on, Kamikaze, JOKE about him.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:03 pm
by Kamikaze
At the height of that afganistan conflict, an advisor walks into the oval office and informs George Bush that two Brazilians had been killed in the fighting that day.

President Bush looks at him in shock, puts his head in his hands and says, "Oh no, How many millions are there in a a Brazilian anyway"



Boom Boom

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 6:45 pm
by Prince William
Janitor, why must there even be any talk of banishment? Have I broken some rule? Have I done anything remotely offensive? Banning an American for no reason makes you guys appear weak and prone to American take-over. We are a mighty nation.

This "troll" thing is quite confusing. What is the purpose of these sites if not to entertain and promote discourse? Surely, if some dude can practice his stand-up act, there's no harm in myselves being here. As that one dude said, you guys could use a shot in the arm. I forget that gentleman's name, but kudos to him. Trying to interact with people of third world cultures shouldn't be classified as "trolling." Plus, as I have said, people who use the term "troll" shouldn't be surfing. Miki Dora would never call anyone a troll.

George W. Bush was a hero among men. What is this world all aboot? Money. And President Bush's term created much money for his father's(and friends) companies. Plus, he didn't want to be in politics, but he failed at the business opportunities presented to him by daddy. So he sucked it up and governed like a true genius. The rest of the world was just jealous.

By the way, since you guys fancy yourselves as grammatical experts and such, the title of this thread was kind of botched, no?

So do you guys actually surf or what. Any waves of significance over there? Man, dudes, it's been bad around here. Bad..................Now it's starting to get cold and bad......Soon the water will be aboot 2 C and that stiffens the nipples. Ya know what it is that I be sayin' ?

I also love how you guys proclaim to hate on certain people, but you always remember the names. You always remember the names....Keep throwing names out there........Quite so... Quite so. Ok after my posts imagine royal music being played as I exit..........

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:22 pm
by Black
My wife just asked me if I'd heard of anal bleaching, to which I replied: Yes, American women do it! (This is true by the way)
I then explained what it was. She promptly googled to confirm as she thought I was bullshitting.
After a minute I turned to her and said:

I'm going to have my cock bleached so I can have a Moby Dick!

Bum bum! Or cock cock!

Thank you all!

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 9:59 pm
by Kamikaze
I've just seen TV pictures of people dancing and singing and celebrating at a funeral.

Has Piers Morgan died?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:54 am
by Kamikaze
It's odd that Thelma & Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes, then die at the end because of their terrible driving

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 7:41 pm
by Kamikaze
What an arrogant bunch of cunts the Germans are. Six million Jews die in the holocaust and not one report at the time...


Yet the whole world knows the minute one of them falls over in the snow.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:59 am
by Kamikaze
BNP leader Nick Griffin has been declared bankrupt.

The one and only time in his life he wishes he was in the black.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 10:09 am
by Kamikaze
Just put some trousers on I last wore at a wedding in 2001 and found a Nokia 3210 in the back pocket.

It's still got 2 bars of battery on it.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:31 pm
by danny1
These are all geat mate. Keep it up. You should do them on twitter too- you would get more feedback..