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Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2014 6:09 pm
by Kamikaze
My ten year old daughter ran down the stairs screaming when she discovered her first pubic hair.

It was one of mine on her toothbrush.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2014 6:11 pm
by Kamikaze
I have just submitted my Jimmy Savile damages claim form;


It was on Thursday 8th July 1977 when he traumatised me, by suddenly appearing on screen as I was having a wank to Pans People.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2014 7:00 pm
by Philshoz
Kamikaze wrote:I have just submitted my Jimmy Savile damages claim form;


It was on Thursday 8th July 1977 when he traumatised me, by suddenly appearing on screen as I was having a wank to Pans People.


Fucking epic Kami, proper funny. Even Mrs Shoz loves that one.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:17 pm
by Kamikaze
One aims to please.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:21 pm
by Kamikaze
The tragic irony of the Hillsborough disaster, is that it's the one time they should have been telling each other to calm down.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:06 am
by Chris F
too soon. In fact any time is too soon on that one.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 11:01 am
by Kamikaze
I don't see how we can joke about one tragedy and not another.

Twin towers
Princess Di

etc etc

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 11:04 am
by Kamikaze
Daily Mail online: "Teacher murdered in class was dearly loved by all her pupils."


Well, except one.



( I rest my case)

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 3:59 pm
by munkee
Kamikaze wrote:I don't see how we can joke about one tragedy and not another.

Twin towers
Princess Di

etc etc


Agreed

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:26 pm
by Kamikaze
I'm in a 60's tribute band called 'Underage Bukkake Party'.

We cover The Small Faces.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:29 pm
by jonysan
That's got to be one of your best !

brilliant.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 8:13 pm
by Leven
munkee wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:I don't see how we can joke about one tragedy and not another.

Twin towers
Princess Di

etc etc


Agreed



I think the difference is that Hillsborough has been a 25 year cover up, with the main culprits still haven't been held to account for their actions. Those culprits were supposedly pillars of the community. It's raw, and without closure. It's also normal, ordinary, working class British people that died, and who's families are suffering, people like you and me. It wasn't an accident, it wasn't an act of terrorism, it was people going to watch a football match who never came home.

Di was one woman who many found difficult to relate to due to her social class etc. Twin Towers was in the USA, so rightly or wrongly, a lot of people would feel removed.

Did you see the Wikipedia changes on Hillsborough? Disgraceful.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 8:47 am
by Chris F
Leven wrote:I think the difference is that Hillsborough has been a 25 year cover up, with the main culprits still haven't been held to account for their actions. Those culprits were supposedly pillars of the community. It's raw, and without closure. It's also normal, ordinary, working class British people that died, and who's families are suffering, people like you and me. It wasn't an accident, it wasn't an act of terrorism, it was people going to watch a football match who never came


Pretty much it. Some things just aren't funny. I've never heard a Dunblane joke, a Piper Alpha joke or an Aberfan one in spite of these things happening a relatively long time ago, some things are just too painful. IMO anyway. Apologies for the digression, I realise it's not in the spirit of the thread title.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 5:55 pm
by Kamikaze
I imagine if sickipedia had been operating back then, there would have been some jokes circulating. Pretty sure I recall dunblane jokes circulating back then, can't remember what they were though, The others were well before even my time. Aberfan! My mum was a school when that happened.

To me Hillsborough isn't that much different to the twin towers. Both happened a long way away, just with football fans instead of bankers, and a conspiracy involved in both cases.

You have to laugh or else you cry.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:36 pm
by majordom
never heard a piper alpha joke ?

whats got four legs and goes 'woof' ?

piper alpha

now you have

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 7:56 am
by tootes
Kamikaze wrote:
To me Hillsborough isn't that much different to the twin towers. Both happened a long way away, just with football fans instead of bankers, and a conspiracy involved in both cases.

You have to laugh or else you cry.



agreed, Twin Towers is far closer to home to me. Some of the funniest jokes are the sickest.

That's said any joke can be in fairy poor taste in the wrong place. This however is "The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED" thread.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 12:45 pm
by Kamikaze
that "DO NOT RUDE" is really offending my OCD.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 12:47 pm
by Kamikaze
majordom wrote:never heard a piper alpha joke ?

whats got four legs and goes 'woof' ?

piper alpha

now you have



I thought the answer to that was "A cat doused in petrol, then lit"

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 5:13 pm
by Kamikaze
Katie Price is getting divorced again.

Why doesn't someone try setting her up with Oscar Pistorius?

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 9:26 am
by Philshoz
Why do they call that area between a womans tits and her vagina a waist.

Because there is room for another pair of tits…..

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 9:20 am
by Kamikaze
So Morrissey has joined Twitter.

Panic on the tweets of London.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 8:46 am
by Kamikaze
Why can't women be catholic priests?

Because you can't shove a vagina up a little boy's ass.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 1:11 am
by roberdy
Kamikaze wrote:that "DO NOT RUDE" is really offending my OCD.


Want me to fix it? :-D

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:34 am
by Philshoz
roberdy wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:that "DO NOT RUDE" is really offending my OCD.


Want me to fix it? :-D


47 pages in, you must be beside yourself D..

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:15 am
by Kamikaze
roberdy wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:that "DO NOT RUDE" is really offending my OCD.


Want me to fix it? :-D



Please Pretty Please.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:08 am
by roberdy
Philshoz wrote:
roberdy wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:that "DO NOT RUDE" is really offending my OCD.


Want me to fix it? :-D


47 pages in, you must be beside yourself D..


Nah, never bothered me before, weird though cause usually something like this would really tweak my OCD too!!

However...

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT RUDE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:09 am
by roberdy
Kamikaze wrote:
roberdy wrote:
Kamikaze wrote:that "DO NOT RUDE" is really offending my OCD.


Want me to fix it? :-D



Please Pretty Please.


Sorry, mate, doesn't look like I can right now, with this many pages it might screw some of the db records up, I will look into it but got a hefty week on this week so won't be top priority !!

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:19 am
by roberdy
on the other hand…..

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:49 am
by Kamikaze
Woooohhhoooooooo


That's stopped the itching in my skull every time I look at this forum.

Re: The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFE

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:50 am
by Kamikaze
roberdy wrote:on the other hand…..



That reminds me of an old joke


Jeremy Beadle has a small cock. On the other hand it's quite big!