The foul Joke thread: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

A place for regulars and new visitors to talk about whatever comes to mind. An opportunity to share your 'non-surf' wisdom with the rest of us.

Postby Bigjohn » Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:29 pm

Looks like a new design for a computer mouse! :lol:
......Rubber Duck this is Pig Pen, I'm gonna put the hammer down..........

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Postby Snowfun » Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:32 pm

I'd buy it!
if its not snow its water
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Postby surfrett » Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:37 pm

tutut! kids these days ay? dont know what they get up to on the net :wink:
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Postby Snowfun » Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:46 pm

oi you! off this thread or ill email your school! :lol: :wink:
if its not snow its water
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Postby surfrett » Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:24 pm

:D go for it! ill get outta it lol :wink:
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Postby Powl » Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:30 pm

Well that's the gauntlet thrown down then. Wonder who gets in the most trouble?? I suspect we'll never know cos you'll both just disappear, never to post again...
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Postby Snowfun » Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:33 pm

last time i was inside, brixton prison had a nice PC and server set up :lol:
if its not snow its water
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Postby Powl » Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:45 pm

Nah, that was just the local youth centre you were in... The armed guards and razor wire and crackheads offering to give you a blow job for half a lambert and butler can be awfully confusing I know
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Postby surfrett » Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:51 pm

LOL :lol:
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Postby Snowfun » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:12 pm

Powl wrote:crackheads offering to give you a blow job for half a lambert and butler

...your mum said she would never tell anybody!...I've had better but i do like half a lambert and butler :lol:
Last edited by Snowfun on Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby surfrett » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:16 pm

now now :o 8)
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Postby munkee » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:28 pm

did u hear about the reverse exorcism...
...the devil couldnt get the priest out of the boy
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Postby surfrett » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:36 pm

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives forward, SAVING him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again, and the chicken fell into a mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole." So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks! :o
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Postby malpractice » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:41 pm

Okay apart from the last one these jokes arent fowl at all...







taxi!
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Postby surfrett » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:47 pm

well you no... :D how about this one:

One misty Scottish morning a man was driving down from Wick to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot three and like a walking wardrobe. He has a huge red beard and despite the wind, mist and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt and a tweed shirt. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely, fair complexion.. ..... heartstopping. The car driver's attention is dragged from the girl when the highlander opens the car door and drags him from the seat onto the road. "Right, you" he shouts, "I want you to masturbate", "but......" stammers the driver, "Now...or I'll bloody kill you" So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside this only takes a few seconds. "Right" says the highlander "Do it again!" "but....." says the driver. "Now...." So the driver does it again. "Right do it again" demands the highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours. The driver has cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind, has collapsed in a sweating jibbering heap on the ground, unable to walk. "Do it again" says the highlander. "I just can't anymore - you'll just have to kill me", whimpers the man. The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the roadside. "All right" he says, "NOW you can give my daughter a lift to Inverness."
:wink:
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Postby sol » Wed Dec 07, 2005 7:59 pm

What do George Best and Gary Glitter have in common?



They have both had there last tot
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Postby johnny e » Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:31 pm

How do you know if your sister's on?

You can taste it on your dad's di*k.

Is that foul enough for ya?
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Postby Grizzly » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:25 pm

Right. This site, i think is a joke and as such classes as a gruesome, funked up hoax. If it is real, then it's still gruesome and funked up and a bit... unsettling. Actually, it's unsettling either way. It's truely grim. And sad. And warped. Do not look if you're feeling hungover, just eaten, under 18, or even still retain the last vestiges of humanity. It's awful.
(And I actually mean all that, it's not just a build up. It's just...kinda....not right. At all.)

No really. You won't like it. None of you. And if you do, there's something wrong with you.

For real.

here it is:

http://riot.lashells.com/justine.html
Gorau dial, dangos cwm a'i ffadau.
http://singlefin.blogspot.com
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Postby k mac » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:28 pm

Grizzly......that is really not nice.And i wished id listend to your warning.
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Postby Grizzly » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:29 pm

Time to bring out my "I told you so" hat :lol:
Gorau dial, dangos cwm a'i ffadau.
http://singlefin.blogspot.com
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Postby k mac » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:30 pm

Can i wear it ?...the 'grizzly told me so hat' ???
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Postby Snowfun » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:34 pm

your wrong, im hungover and feelin knackered and that site made me smile :D

very funny or wrong but it seems right :wink:
if its not snow its water
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Postby Grizzly » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:38 pm

K mac, feel free, Snowfun, there is something seriously wrong with you :lol:
Gorau dial, dangos cwm a'i ffadau.
http://singlefin.blogspot.com
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Postby Bigjohn » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:42 pm

After you with the hat please kmac :shock:
......Rubber Duck this is Pig Pen, I'm gonna put the hammer down..........

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Postby jaques le cont » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:53 pm

That is the single most fucked up thing I have ever seen.

If there are any women here, just don't look.
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Postby Bigjohn » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:55 pm

jaques le cont wrote:That is the single most fucked up thing I have ever seen.

If there are any women here, just don't look.
Print it out and show it to the minx, that should resolve the situation :wink:
......Rubber Duck this is Pig Pen, I'm gonna put the hammer down..........

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Postby Snowfun » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:55 pm

snowfun wrote:your wrong, im hungover and feelin knackered and that site made me smile :D

very funny or wrong but it seems right :wink:


You found it! i just love mental american trash stuff...seriously considering moving to a trailer park

ps...just emailed it out to bunch o people..one of which is girl ive seen twice....she will prob be in town tonight after ive played football, will be intrigued by her reaction ??
Last edited by Snowfun on Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Powl » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:57 pm

Wrong. Plain wrong. I'm going to need hypnotherapy to erase my mental scars :shock:

On second thoughts, snowfun, that's your mum that is ^^^^^
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Postby Bigjohn » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:59 pm

Powl wrote:Wrong. Plain wrong. I'm going to need hypnotherapy to erase my mental scars :shock:

On second thoughts, snowfun, that's your mum that is ^^^^^
:lol: :lol: funny as fuck!!! :lol: :lol:
......Rubber Duck this is Pig Pen, I'm gonna put the hammer down..........

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Postby Snowfun » Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:04 pm

he,he,he :lol: :lol: you got me! i can't actually reply as can only think of such low down abuse that it may be wrong. its brave of you to joke about it though especially since thats your sister after your parents were ordered to do as you were such a hideous mistake and killed your grandparents and buried em under the patio in Cape SA
:P
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